Di Interview

An Interview with Dakini Di

So, Di, what is Tantra?

For me, Tantra is a spiritual path – a way of connecting to my most intrinsic life force or being - making friends with that life force and then flowing it every day of my life in everything I do.

One aspect of this life force, or Elan Vital, is known and experienced by almost every single human being on this planet as orgasm and sexual energy. This energy is so profound it even creates life itself. It is THE true creative energy. What many don’t know how to do is accept, encourage or cultivate this energy in the positive ways Tantra can teach us. We find that there is no problem in flowing this energy every day. It is part of our “aliveness.” Not flowing the energy is where problems arise. Our life-force literally gets stuffed-up. I believe the beginning of shadowy sexual practices starts here.

What I do personally, is bring more light, love, and acceptance to this powerful force. When we flow more positive life force, it moves into everything we do. Our eyes twinkle, our aura sparks, our complexion glows and we walk as if there are wings under our feet. Everyone around us says, “I want what you have.” And not only that, the connection with our beloved goes to deeper levels that most of us have probably only wished for or imagined. When the energy flows “Di-Namically”, it is really magnificent to see and be around.

Tantra is the means I use to connect with my pure source energy that runs through me. That source energy I would classify as vital, sexy, lively, creative, sparky, sensual and ALIVE! Some would call it divine force or spirit. I simply call it WONDERFUL.

I have felt the golden flow of that energy as it runs through my body and being--sometimes in orgasm and sometimes out. I think you would agree, there is no more yummy or delicious feeling in the whole of our human existence.

How did you get involved?

Tantra is the path that chose me. After a very painful relationship ending, a couple of friends recommended to me that I accompany them to one of Charles and Caroline Muir’s beginning weekends in Boulder, CO. It didn’t take very long before I felt as though I completely "got it" and had been here before…. By the end of the weekend, I was begging Charles to let me into his teacher training program which was to take place in two months.

How long have you been practicing tantra?

The course I described above was 1999... Since the first time I was introduced to tantra by the Muir’s weekend course and experienced the sexual healing ceremony/technique, more and more pictures of inner knowing have unfolded for me. When I read the accounts of the ancient dakinis (literally translated as women who are comfortable dancing in space), I get a glimmer of inner knowing about their life and knowledge.

What are dakinis?

There are a lot of different definitions out there…. From my knowing, they are/were the female teachers of Tantra of old and came in many forms from young beautiful goddess women to ancient, wrinkly centurions. It is even said that Naropa received his enlightenment from an old, old dakini. I think we have the dakinis to thank for keeping this knowledge alive for us today. The dakinis kept the teachings in their close circles when country boundaries changed, governments switched and cultures tried to wipe out information about Tantra. In some circles, modern-day dakinis are also known as sexual healers. With their transcendental sky-dancing powers (staying balanced while handling any curve ball) and ability to cut away the bonds of ignorance (cutting through the crap), they can help men find their hearts and yin side, and women to find their Shakti sexual energy. It is really all about the balance of those two sides that makes us whole human beings.

I’m Single, can I still practice Tantra?

You bet! There is a lot of the practice you can do alone. The monks in Tibet have been doing that for centuries. (Laugh. I don't think most of us want to be celibate monks!) I have practiced as a single most of my tantric life. And the clincher is--doing the practice seems to call out to the Universe for a partner if that is your desire. Then when your beloved does show up (Oh, My!) the REAL fun begins. (Oh, did I tell you that practicing is fun?!)

So what's the benefit of practicing as a couple?

When committed to practicing tantra with a partner, it is probably the deepest connection and intimacy with another person you'll experience since you were in your mother’s womb. As you bring more light, love and consciousness to your sexual centers, an interesting phenomenon unfolds: You start to ratchet-up each others’ energy. For example, maybe one of you feels more sexual/energetic/orgasmic on a particluar day. Just in committing to the practice, the other, as if by magic, ratchets up their energy and may even be on a higher energy plane by the end of the practice. And like that, the practice continues to move both of you to a place of more and more energy. Also, as you flow more continuous high energy, it becomes easier and easier to “aim” it towards areas YOU desire. That is where sex magic comes in--creating what you want with your sexual/life force/loving energy.

Through honoring our differences in male and female sexual energy, we find that each of us brings a vital and key component of wholeness to the other's life. What if we each hold the key for rich wholeness for the other? One brings the softness and compassionate heart energy to the situation, while the other brings the yang-moving “out-there” energy. Some of the practices actually cultivate these specific energies to run in a circular fashion between and through both partners so that each gets the completing piece of wholeness from the other. The two synergistically and energetically become engaged in being more that just two human beings--they become a single, infinite, energetically whole structure. I think that somewhere deep in our gut, we know this truth and continue to look for this kind of energetic intimacy in all of our relationships. That's why we get so disappointed when we don’t find it. It really is amazing that there are techniques handed down from the ancient teachers that can establish this kind of intimate connection.

One of my spiritual teachers humorously defined it as “simple arithmetic”: 1 + 1 = Infinity. That is the whole practice of tantra in an equation. (Oh, did you know I have a Computer Engineering degree?) From an engineering point of view, it doesn’t make much sense, but from a spiritual practice and orgasmic sense it totally clicks.

When (1+1) two people are engaged in tantric embrace, fully present and conscious with each other, fully flowing their trust, love and orgasmic energy, it is through the threshold of the present moment that they can peep into the eternal field of energy and consciousness. In a word: infinity. I think it is our most direct experience of the Divine. And…. we can still continue our lives and appear to look like normal breathing human beings (but maybe just a little glowier.)

There is a whole lot more to say about the spiritual dimensions of Tantra--seeing the Divine in our Partner--Kundalini--Enlightenment--and a whole host of other things. Let that wait for another interview.

So, bottom line, what is your definition of tantra?

Tantra is a loving way of life with practices that cultivate our intrinsic life energy for enlivening our loving, living, and chosen spiritual practice. It is a way of realizing/living wholeness of being and fullness of life.

That New Age spiritual stuff is all find and dandy, but isn’t tantra about sex and longer orgasms?

Yes. It is about sex and longer orgasms. Who wouldn’t want that in a spiritual practice? Many Tantric practices teach us how to have unlimited powerful orgasms...in ways we have never experienced them before. Having orgasms--experiencing that divine elixir of life--is deeply spiritual for many people,a touch of the Divine. And as we run that energy more and more, accepting the sexual part of ourselves more and more, an interesting process starts to happen: The blocks in our energy system and psyche start to dissolve. We start feeling our wholeness--from the tip of our intellectual selves, through our deep heart connections and ability to love more,to a final acceptance and love of our sexual centers.

Love our Sexual Centers? What?

Many times, in this society, to reach our orgasmic and sexual potential, healing and awakening must take place first. In my estimation, there is nothing more healing on the planet than conscious loving touch. I teach how to respectfully and lovingly touch another’s sacred sexual center to gently bring about this awakening. This part of the practice, in the end, is not about sex, though it is very intimate. There is no sexual intercourse involved in this particular practice. Since there is no goal outside of being present, loving and appreciating the divine in another, this innocent sexual energy is gently encouraged to show itself. It is really a very sweet process. None of these practices are done in the classroom, of course. I am very mindful about respecting people's embarrassment limits.

Sexual healing is one of the reasons Charles and Caroline Muir’s work appeals so much to me. For more than twenty years they have taught ways to heal the sexual scarring and wounding of our past so we can move into our incredibly full and energetic sexual selves--with that wholeness reflected in every thing we do. Working with Charles and Caroline’s teachings was the first time my own intense spirituality could be united with my powerful sexual being. That is wholeness--when all parts of our being intertwine into one authentic person.

Moving past those old scars and wounds increases our capacity to love and be loved many times over--Oh, ya, we usually have a lot more and stronger orgasms as well as a lot of other positive benefits. So that brings us back full circle to the beginning.

Tantra is learning how to shine our magnificent Divine radiance through everything that we do--our positive Elan Vital--vital life force for the good of ourselves, those around us and our beautiful planet.

Dakini Di (AKA Diane M. Miller) has been teaching the foundations of living in love, joy, conscious awareness and the powerful energy of free expression through meditation for nearly 30 years. She is also an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator from the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.

Blending her passions of creative art expression, life teaching, engineering, and connection with nature, she lives passionately in Fort Collins, Colorado.

Oh, ya. That means she teaches meditation and Tantra, is a Spiritual Catalyst, Tantra Coach, Reiki practitioner and in her SPARE TIME, wildly creates traditional and electronic art.

Dakini Di in Maui in 2000