|An Interview with Dakini
Di, what is Tantra?
For me, Tantra is a spiritual path – a way of connecting to my
most intrinsic life force or being - making friends with that
life force and then flowing it every day of my life in everything
One aspect of this life force, or Elan Vital, is known
and experienced by almost every single human being on this planet
as orgasm and sexual energy. This energy is so profound it even
creates life itself. It is THE true creative energy. What many
don’t know how to do is accept, encourage or cultivate this energy
in the positive ways Tantra can teach us. We find that there is
no problem in flowing this energy every day. It is part of our
“aliveness.” Not flowing the energy is where
problems arise. Our life-force literally gets stuffed-up. I believe
the beginning of shadowy sexual practices starts here.
What I do personally, is bring more light, love, and acceptance
to this powerful force. When we flow more positive life force,
it moves into everything we do. Our eyes twinkle, our aura sparks,
our complexion glows and we walk as if there are wings under our
feet. Everyone around us says, “I want what you have.” And not
only that, the connection with our beloved goes to deeper levels
that most of us have probably only wished for or imagined. When
the energy flows “Di-Namically”, it is really magnificent to see
and be around.
Tantra is the means I use to connect with my pure source energy
that runs through me. That source energy I would classify as vital,
sexy, lively, creative, sparky, sensual and ALIVE!
Some would call it divine force or spirit. I simply call it WONDERFUL.
I have felt the golden flow of that energy as it runs through
my body and being--sometimes in orgasm and sometimes out. I think
you would agree, there is no more yummy or delicious feeling in
the whole of our human existence.
How did you get involved?
Tantra is the path that chose me. After a very painful relationship
ending, a couple of friends recommended to me that I accompany
them to one of Charles
and Caroline Muir’s beginning weekends in Boulder, CO. It
didn’t take very long before I felt as though I completely "got
it" and had been here before…. By the end of the weekend,
I was begging Charles to let me into his teacher training program
which was to take place in two months.
How long have you been practicing tantra?
The course I described above was 1999... Since the first time
I was introduced to tantra by the Muir’s weekend course and experienced
the sexual healing ceremony/technique, more and more pictures
of inner knowing have unfolded for me. When I read the accounts
of the ancient dakinis (literally translated as women who are
comfortable dancing in space), I get a glimmer of inner knowing
about their life and knowledge.
What are dakinis?
There are a lot of different definitions out there…. From my knowing,
they are/were the female teachers of Tantra of old and came in
many forms from young beautiful goddess women to ancient, wrinkly
centurions. It is even said that Naropa received his enlightenment
from an old, old dakini. I think we have the dakinis to thank
for keeping this knowledge alive for us today. The dakinis kept
the teachings in their close circles when country boundaries changed,
governments switched and cultures tried to wipe out information
about Tantra. In some circles, modern-day dakinis are also known
as sexual healers. With their transcendental sky-dancing powers
(staying balanced while handling any curve ball) and ability to
cut away the bonds of ignorance (cutting through the crap), they
can help men find their hearts and yin side, and women to find
their Shakti sexual energy. It is really all about the balance
of those two sides that makes us whole human beings.
I’m Single, can I still practice Tantra?
You bet! There is a lot of the practice you can do alone. The
monks in Tibet have been doing that for centuries. (Laugh. I don't
think most of us want to be celibate monks!) I have practiced
as a single most of my tantric life. And the clincher is--doing
the practice seems to call out to the Universe for a partner if
that is your desire. Then when your beloved does show up (Oh,
My!) the REAL fun begins. (Oh, did I tell you that practicing
So what's the benefit of practicing as a couple?
When committed to practicing tantra with a partner, it is probably
the deepest connection and intimacy with another person you'll
experience since you were in your mother’s womb. As you bring
more light, love and consciousness to your sexual centers, an
interesting phenomenon unfolds: You start to ratchet-up each others’
energy. For example, maybe one of you feels more sexual/energetic/orgasmic
on a particluar day. Just in committing to the practice, the other,
as if by magic, ratchets up their energy and may even be on a
higher energy plane by the end of the practice. And like that,
the practice continues to move both of you to a place of more
and more energy. Also, as you flow more continuous high energy,
it becomes easier and easier to “aim” it towards areas YOU desire.
That is where sex magic comes in--creating what you want with
your sexual/life force/loving energy.
Through honoring our differences in male and female sexual energy,
we find that each of us brings a vital and key component of wholeness
to the other's life. What if we each hold the key for rich wholeness
for the other? One brings the softness and compassionate heart
energy to the situation, while the other brings the yang-moving
“out-there” energy. Some of the practices actually cultivate these
specific energies to run in a circular fashion between and through
both partners so that each gets the completing piece of wholeness
from the other. The two synergistically and energetically become
engaged in being more that just two human beings--they become
a single, infinite, energetically whole structure. I think that
somewhere deep in our gut, we know this truth and continue to
look for this kind of energetic intimacy in all of our relationships.
That's why we get so disappointed when we don’t find it. It really
is amazing that there are techniques handed down from the ancient
teachers that can establish this kind of intimate connection.
One of my spiritual teachers humorously defined it as “simple
arithmetic”: 1 + 1 = Infinity. That is the whole practice of tantra
in an equation. (Oh, did you know I have a Computer Engineering
degree?) From an engineering point of view, it doesn’t make much
sense, but from a spiritual practice and orgasmic sense it totally
When (1+1) two people are engaged in tantric embrace, fully present
and conscious with each other, fully flowing their trust, love
and orgasmic energy, it is through the threshold of the present
moment that they can peep into the eternal field of energy and
consciousness. In a word: infinity. I think it is our most direct
experience of the Divine. And…. we can still continue our lives
and appear to look like normal breathing human beings (but maybe
just a little glowier.)
There is a whole lot more to say about the spiritual dimensions
of Tantra--seeing the Divine in our Partner--Kundalini--Enlightenment--and
a whole host of other things. Let that wait for another
So, bottom line, what is your definition of tantra?
Tantra is a loving way of life with practices that cultivate our
intrinsic life energy for enlivening our loving, living, and chosen
spiritual practice. It is a way of realizing/living wholeness
of being and fullness of life.
That New Age spiritual stuff is all find and dandy, but
isn’t tantra about sex and longer orgasms?
Yes. It is about sex and longer orgasms. Who wouldn’t
want that in a spiritual practice? Many Tantric practices teach
us how to have unlimited powerful orgasms...in ways we have never
experienced them before. Having orgasms--experiencing that divine
elixir of life--is deeply spiritual for many people,a touch of
the Divine. And as we run that energy more and more, accepting
the sexual part of ourselves more and more, an interesting process
starts to happen: The blocks in our energy system and psyche start
to dissolve. We start feeling our wholeness--from the tip of our
intellectual selves, through our deep heart connections and ability
to love more,to a final acceptance and love of our sexual centers.
Love our Sexual Centers? What?
Many times, in this society, to reach our orgasmic and sexual
potential, healing and awakening must take place first. In my
estimation, there is nothing more healing on the planet than conscious
loving touch. I teach how to respectfully and lovingly touch another’s
sacred sexual center to gently bring about this awakening. This
part of the practice, in the end, is not about sex, though it
is very intimate. There is no sexual intercourse involved in this
particular practice. Since there is no goal outside of being present,
loving and appreciating the divine in another, this innocent sexual
energy is gently encouraged to show itself. It is really a very
sweet process. None of these practices are done in the classroom,
of course. I am very mindful about respecting people's embarrassment
Sexual healing is one of the reasons Charles and Caroline Muir’s
work appeals so much to me. For more than twenty years they have
taught ways to heal the sexual scarring and wounding of our past
so we can move into our incredibly full and energetic sexual selves--with
that wholeness reflected in every thing we do. Working with Charles
and Caroline’s teachings was the first time my own intense spirituality
could be united with my powerful sexual being. That is wholeness--when
all parts of our being intertwine into one authentic person.
Moving past those old scars and wounds increases our capacity
to love and be loved many times over--Oh, ya, we usually have
a lot more and stronger orgasms as well as a lot of other positive
benefits. So that brings us back full circle to the beginning.
Tantra is learning how to shine our magnificent Divine radiance
through everything that we do--our positive Elan Vital--vital
life force for the good of ourselves, those around us and our
Dakini Di (AKA Diane M. Miller) has been teaching
the foundations of living in love, joy, conscious awareness and
the powerful energy of free expression through meditation for
nearly 30 years. She is also an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator
from the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.
Blending her passions of creative art expression, life teaching,
engineering, and connection with nature, she lives passionately
in Fort Collins, Colorado.
Oh, ya. That means she teaches meditation and Tantra, is a Spiritual
Catalyst, Tantra Coach, Reiki practitioner and in her SPARE TIME,
wildly creates traditional and electronic art.